The Shoemaker And The Elves

by Tom Holt

Once upon a time there was a kindly old accountant who lived all by
himself in a tiny little office over a rubber goods shop. Every
night, before switching off his computer and going to bed, the kindly
old accountant would put out a saucer of bread and milk for the
millennium bug, saying, "Millennium bug, millennium bug, please don't
trash my hard drive on January 1st. Go and screw up Messrs Bismarck &
Turpitz in the High Street, for they have so much more money than I
do, and it makes me very sad."

On New Year's Day, the kindly old accountant was woken up by the
sound of computers being slung out of high windows up and down the
street; but lo and behold, when he looked, his computer was just
fine. "Thank you, millennium bug," he said happily, and he was still
smiling when the Revenue smashed his door in with axes and took him
and his computer away in a big black van, since his was the only
computer in all of Surbiton that hadn't been wiped clean of
incriminating evidence.

Text reproduced with permission.

2000 Uwe Milde

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